Christmas Lyrics and MIDI Files
Listen To Christmas Music Online
Watch Christmas Movies and TV Shows Online
Fun and Easy Christmas Recipes
Christmas Crafts for All Skill Levels
Share your Random Acts Of Kindness with us
Free Christmas Clipart and Images
"Merry Christmas" in other languages
The Latest Christmas News Stories
Search The Web For Christmas Stuff
Our Links To Other Fun Christmas Stuff
Can't Find What You're Looking For Here At Xmas Fun? Try Our Google Christmas Search
David Frank
'Twas
the day after Christmas and all through the house
Children sat slack-jawed, bored on the couch.
Wrappings
and toys littered the floor,
An incredible mess that I did abhor.
With
Mom in her robe and I in my jeans,
We waded in to get the place clean.
When
suddenly the doorbell: it started to clatter,
I sprang to the Security-View to check out the matter.
The
new-fallen snow, now blackened with soot,
Was trampled and icy and treacherous to foot.
But
suddenly in view, did I gasp and pant:
An unhappy bill collector and eight tiny accountants.
The
door flew open and in they came,
Stern-looking men with bills in my name.
On
Discover, on Visa, on American Express,
On Mastercard too, I sadly confess,
Right to my limits, then beyond my net worth,
OUer the top I had charged, in a frenzy of mirth.
The
black-suited men, so somber, so strict,
I wondered why me that they had first picked.
They
stared at me with a look I couldn't miss,
That said "Buddy, when are you for paying for this?"
I shrugged
my shoulders, but then I grew bolder,
Went to the cabinet and pulled out a folder.
"As
you can see," I said with a smile,
"It's bankruptcy that I'll have to file!"
And with a swoop of my arm, my middle digit extended
I threw the bills in the fire: the matter had ended.
The
scent of burnt ash came to my nose,
As up the chimney my credit-worthiness rose.
Without
another word they turned and walked out,
Got into their limos, but one gave a shout:
"You may think that's the answer to all of your fears,
But it's nothing you'll charge for at least seven years!